Why We Sabotage Our Own Sleep
Picture this: You’ve had a long day. You worked tirelessly, juggled responsibilities and managed to keep your family’s chaos somewhat under control. By the time the kids are finally in bed (after a battle of wills that could rival a courtroom drama), you’re officially off-duty. It’s your time. Cue the pyjamas and the celebratory mental confetti but instead of slipping into bed to recharge for another marathon tomorrow, you find yourself scrolling through social media, binge-watching shows or reading articles like this one until your body practically screams, “Go to sleep already!”
Sound familiar? Welcome to the not-so-exclusive club of revenge bedtime procrastination. It’s a phenomenon that’s as relatable as it is detrimental and it’s time we unpacked it.
What Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?
Let’s start with the basics. Revenge bedtime procrastination is the act of delaying sleep to reclaim personal time which feels stolen by the demands of work, family and life in general. It’s that rebellious little voice in your head saying, “I deserve this!” as you click “Next Episode” at 1 a.m. fully aware you’ll regret it when your alarm blares at 5.
The term gained traction in recent years, particularly during the pandemic when work-life boundaries blurred into oblivion. But even before that, many of us were guilty of sabotaging our precious sleep hours in the name of “me time.” The word revenge here is key, it’s not just procrastination; it’s deliberate. It’s a way of taking back control when life feels overwhelming.
Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?
Let’s face it: life is busy. For many of us, the day is a constant loop of responsibilities. Work deadlines, school runs, household tasks, emotional labor—by the time evening arrives, there’s barely anything left for ourselves.
So when the house finally quiets down and expectations fade, we cling to that time like it’s oxygen. Staying up late becomes a form of rebellion, a way to reclaim autonomy after a day dictated by obligations.
And while it may feel satisfying in the moment, it often comes at a cost. Lack of sleep affects mood, focus, emotional regulation and physical health. The next day becomes harder, which only reinforces the cycle.
How to Gently Break the Cycle
Breaking this pattern doesn’t mean forcing yourself into bed earlier or piling on more rules. It starts with awareness.
Understanding why you resist sleep helps shift the pattern from self-blame to self-compassion. You’re not lazy or undisciplined, you’re seeking balance.
Small changes can help: creating intentional moments of rest during the day, setting gentle boundaries around screen time or giving yourself permission to unwind without guilt.
Most importantly, it means recognising that rest isn’t a reward. It’s a need.
A Final Thought
Revenge bedtime procrastination isn’t about poor habits. It’s about unmet needs.
When you begin to listen to what your late nights are trying to tell you, you can start meeting those needs earlier, with more kindness and less exhaustion.
You don’t need to fight yourself to feel better. Sometimes, you just need to listen.
Related Reads
If this topic resonated with you, you may also want to explore these reflections:
Both explore the quieter patterns behind exhaustion, self-reliance and the moments we rarely stop to question.
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